January 2018 was the Month of Teeth and I AM OVER IT.
Oh, my sweet heavens, people. I am not even kidding. This month, between my kids and myself, we have visited the dentist and/or orthodontist…wait for it…NINE TIMES. NINE!!
That’s basically one trip to the chair every 3.4 days. What the actual heck?
You know, when I signed up for this whole mom gig 4 kids and 16 years ago, I didn’t realize that it would afford me honorary degrees in nursing, dental hygiene, orthodontia, and general triage practices. Yet, here we are.
And here’s the thing…I don’t even like that stuff! I am a horrible nurse, blood makes me faint, and teeth are just weird and gross.
But I digress. Here’s the rundown of appointments.
January 2
Kid 4 had a dentist appointment to check on an infection which we had hoped had been cleared up by antibiotics. No such luck. Turns out the tooth was abscessed. And since it was a baby tooth, there was no remedy except to pull it. Unfortunately, it was a tooth that wouldn’t grow back in until she’s about 9 years old. Oh, and on top of that, she had two MORE cavities (making numbers 3 and 4). Apparently, years of acid reflux and a couple months of abdominal migraines really wore out her teeth. Poor baby! We made another appointment to pull the tooth and do the fillings.
January 3 — fun x 2!
Kid 2 and I both had our 6-month checkups. He checked out fine. Me, not so much. Yep. I had a cavity. Left there with yet another appointment to get it filled.
January 10
Back with Kid 4 for the extraction and fillings. She said the laughing gas smelled like grapes and she couldn’t move one side of her face for several hours. However, a strawberry milkshake seemed to be good medicine and she was back to herself by bedtime.
January 15 — fun x 2! — again!
The morning appointment took us to the orthodontist for Kid 2’s braces removal!! He did a great job with all of his rubberbands and stuff, which let him get them off 3 months early. He’s looking good!
Then, in the afternoon, Kid 1 had his 6-month check at the dentist. I’ll give you three guesses as to his prognosis and the first two don’t count. Yep. Another dadgum cavity!!! GAH!!!
January 25 — fun x 2!! — again! — FIX IT, JESUS!
It was my turn again for the morning appointment. I got my filling done and decided to see if the strawberry milkshake remedy would work for 40-somethings as well as it worked for a 6 year-old. I’m happy to report that it did.
In the afternoon, Kid 1 had a consultation with an oral surgeon to see if and when his wisdom teeth needed to come out. The answers were yes and sometime before the next school year. Now, this puts us in a real quandary. First, he is a horn player and won’t be able to play for at least two weeks after surgery. Second, he’s also a swimmer and, you guessed it. There’s a two week recommended hiatus for that, too, due to infection risk. Third, Dad’s got to be the one to take him. I’m calling fear of blood on this one and am graciously backing out before I pass out. So, as it stands now, we don’t have an appointment made for that, but we’re working on it.
January 29
Kid 4. Back to the dentist. This time, to get a spacing appliance put in to hold space for that pulled tooth. In and out in 20 minutes. Thank goodness!
So, basically…
- I don’t want to see the inside of a dentist’s office for a good long while.
- Thank God for good dental insurance.
- Kid 3 didn’t take a single trip to the dentist this month, so basically she’s my favorite.
You know, I realize I have four children and, to some people, that seems like a lot. But I don’t usually think that I have an exceptionally large family. Until months like this. And then I just stand in awe of those people who have even more teeth…I mean kids…in their family than I do.
Until next time, remember to brush and floss, people. It may just save your mother’s sanity.
Featured Image: Photo by Daniel Frank on Unsplash
