What can I say, loves? The honeymoon is over and the novelty has worn off. Any semblance of initiative I had about keeping life fresh and interesting got worn out when we flipped the calendar to May. So please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me you’re feeling the same!
I mean, this is all just plain weird, right? Is anyone actually enjoying this? Honestly, I beg you. Somebody please correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t see how this great experiment in social distancing is doing anybody’s mental health any favors!
Gone are the days…
Gone are the days when I would post daily “good things lists” on social media to remind myself of all that I had to be grateful for. I mean, how many times can I be thankful for the same things over and over?
Gone are the reminders to myself of “let’s live in the moment and enjoy every extra second with these beautiful kids!” Now it’s more like, “Hey, kiddos, it’s Mother’s Day. Thanks for the lovely lunch you made for me! Now, would you please close the door on your way out and let me binge watch Netflix in peace? K. Thx. Bye.”
Gone are the mornings of making breakfast and lunch and dinner for my family. You want to eat half a bag of Doritos and a box of strawberries for lunch and wash it down with Crystal Light? I’ll allow it. (OK, I’ll allow it on occasion. I haven’t completely lost my mind. Yet.)
And gone are the days of lengthy telephone calls with friends I haven’t seen in forever. Because, let’s be honest, what the hell would we have to talk about? Oh, you stayed home all day again? Yeah, me too. Grocery shopping is both a hellish adventure and the highlight of your week? Same girl, same. Oh! Your kid’s (insert milestone event here) got canceled? Yeah, my kid’s did, too.
We literally have no new information to share, so what’s the point?
When confusion and boredom reign
Does anyone else feel like there should be gigantic parentheses around the months of March, April, and May this year? Like, years from now, whenever we look back on this time, literally anything that happened during these months could be excused? I mean, there was literally a dude walking naked down a major street in our neighborhood the other day – I kid you not, he the only thing he was wearing was a police-issued ankle bracelet and a scowl – and people’s first reaction to it wasn’t shock and awe. It was, “Well, I guess we all go a little crazy during quarantine, huh?” No fooling.
Somehow, we’ve all gotten stuck in this crazy No Man’s Land of life. Like I was saying to my husband earlier tonight, everything in our collective future has a giant question mark hanging over it! Never before have so many people been so unsure of what lies ahead. And the kicker to that is that we don’t even know how long it’s going to go on.
So then, you may be wondering, why am I even writing this post? Well, I guess it’s really just to commiserate, to let you know that you aren’t alone. Cross my heart, I am just as fed up and emotional and apathetic and tired and straight up bored as anyone. Which, side note, does make me chuckle, though. See, my grandmother always used to tell us, “If you’re bored, that means you’re too stupid to find anything to do.” Well, kids, I have a feeling that even my sainted grandmother might find two months of quarantine challenging.
Could I find something to do? Sure. But, like the meme says, it’s become apparent that my house isn’t filthy because I didn’t have the time to clean it. It’s more that I simply don’t have the inclination. In other words? I just don’t wanna.
Where’s Cher when I need her?
Have you heard of the movie “Moonstruck” starring Cher and Nicholas Cage? It’s a good one. Regardless, though, there’s a specific scene that always makes me laugh.
They’re arguing about who has ruined whose life when all of a sudden, Cher just hauls off and slaps young Nic Cage and yells “Snap out of it!”
Can someone come do that to me, please? Can they come help me snap out of my malaise, my funk, my “meh” attitude to everything? Because to be honest, I know I have things to look forward to, but it’s just sooooo haaaaaaaarrrrrrdddd.
We get to go back to church this weekend, so that’s amazing.
My son graduates from high school this coming Tuesday. Granted, he’ll graduate via YouTube video or some other such crap, but still…that’s awesome, right?
So, yes. Somebody come slap me up one side and down the other and tell me to get my ish together. Tell me to be a good little blogger and write all about how to throw a Pinterest-worthy Virtual Graduation Party or a scriptural treatise on the holy virtues of not losing your mind when you realize for the umpteenth time exactly how loud the men in your family chew their food.
All I know is that when this is all over and we get back to whatever brand of normal grows out of this mess, I will never again(*) complain about how crazy the month of May can be.
(*) – Never is a really long time, but I’ll try my best. I’m just sayin’.
Alright, friends. That’s it. I’m spent. Have a good weekend (wait – it’s Friday, right?) and hopefully soon, I’ll be back with more cohesive thoughts.