There are two phrases I am hearing over and over again lately that drive me batty. As in, if I have to hear them again (and I most certainly will), I will lose my ever-lovin’ mind. Want to know what they are? The first one is “unprecedented times.” You’ve heard it before, “these really are unprecedented times” or “of course (fill in the blank) happened – these are unprecedented times!” BARF! And the other one? “Heavy times.” Like, “life is really hard in these heavy times” or “everything right now is so difficult; it’s such heavy times.”
Can we, for the love of God and pretty please with a cherry on top, go back to living in precedented and not-heavy times?!
Seriously, wouldn’t that be amazing? I mean, I realize that many of us are adjusting to this insane version of whatever normal 2020 has thrown at us. But if we think that wildfires eating Australia, global pandemics, race riots, unemployment at depression-era levels, Saharan dust bowls, and who knows what else should be the way things are? Well, then we’ve lost our damn minds.
Unprecedented times, huh? Thanks, but no thanks.
I want to stop thinking about every little thing so damn much.
Sending my children to school should be something that just happens. I don’t want to agonize over which option for education is going to keep my family the safest and healthiest.
I’d like to sing with my church choir again.
Instead of exchanging the stink-eye with people over masks and who’s going the right or wrong way down the aisle? I want to enjoy a leisurely stroll through the grocery store! Maybe even chat with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. Can you imagine?
I want to see my parents and let them hug their grandchildren. Screw that, I want to see my parents and let them hug me (in addition to hugging my kids, of course).
Washing and collecting face masks is stupid and I hate it. Who would’ve ever thought this is something we’d have to do?
The local library has been a staple for our family in the summertime for years. Can we go back to spending hours in the air-conditioning, perusing the stacks to our hearts’ content?
I’d love to go to the pool or the beach and just be grumpy about the crowds because they’re too people-y and not because they are a threat to my family’s health.
God help me, I want to watch NBC Nightly News and hear Lester Holt tell us all about politics and the coming election. Honestly, that’s crazy, right?
Also, I want to make plans that can stick. No more of this “Well, I’m gonna make a plan, but depending on the status of the freaking global pandemic, maybe they’ll get to happen and maybe they won’t.”
I’d really, really like to go back to not everything in the world being seen as a politically charged and partisan decision.
I want to see more pictures of food and kids and vacations on Facebook. Can we knock it off with the constant political propaganda, please?
I want to waltz through the aisles of Target with a latte in my hand, fearlessly eat at a table inside a restaurant, and straight up socialize with the people around me.
Guys, if you know me well, you know I am not a hugger. But I want to HUG people! (Not everybody, mind you. I haven’t gone that crazy yet.)
For my husband, I’d love for him to be able to go back to the office, sure. But more than that, I’d love for him to no longer have to put up with an anxiety-ridden wife.
For all my kids, I’d love to let them just be kids again, damn it! Have friends over or go shopping or go to school and not o.d. on hand sanitizer or suffocate in masks.
I would kill to send my oldest son to college and only worry about his health and safety the normal amount.
But first and foremost and most of all, I want to go back to a time when simply living life didn’t scare me. When a deadly, pervasive, and unpredictable virus of mass destruction couldn’t sneak its way into our lives and destroy the health, wholeness, and well-being of my family or anyone else’s.
If only I could click my heels three times, wiggle my nose, or nod my head “I Dream of Jeanie”-style so that this would all just go away.
If only we would all wake up tomorrow having emerged from the most horrendous dream.
For the love, if only we could live in precedented times again. Because I’m really and truly tired of these unprecedented ones.